Lindsay Lohan trying to swat the paparazzi away outside Goa nightclub in L.A. (5/8)

+ Tori Spelling has some hot mom tits [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Heidi Klum Bikini Pictures Are Not As Hot As They Once Were [Egotastic!]
+ Playboy in Miley Cyrus’ future? [Just Jared]
+ Write your own fantasy [F-Listed]
+ Katie Holmes has the itch to birth another alien baby [The Blemish]

+ Another “oops” moment for Paris Hilton [Attuworld]
+ Some amazingly hot Gemma Atkinson bikini pics [Popoholic]
+ George Clooney’s girlfriend somehow got a magazine cover next month [Cele|bitchy]
+ It’s official: John Mayer is funny [Horny Oyster]
+ Patrick Dempsey dyslexia has [ICYDK]

[WENN]

DMX is under arrest

DMX was arrested early this morning at his Cave Creek, Arizona, home on seven counts of misdemeanor animal cruelty and four counts of felony drug possession — his second arrest this week. The arrest stems from the August 2007 raid of the rapper’s house in which police discovered 12 emaciated pit bulls, the bodies of three dogs, a large cache of weapons, and drugs. Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio told the Arizona Daily News:

“It was a tough case. We were not in a rush, we put a lot of time on it but you don’t rush into an investigation.” (Source)

Really? It took eight months to figure out that you should probably arrest the guy that had the cache of guns and drugs in his house? Who was leading the investigation, the officers from Reno 911?

Arpaio added:

“We’re also really close to breaking the Lindbergh Baby kidnapping but I want to make sure all the i’s are dotted and t’s are crossed before I rush into anything.”

OK I probably made that up.

Nicollette Sheridan has a nice house

Nicollette Sheridan’s 6,800 square foot house in Hidden Hills, CA. The actress recently purchased the home from singer Melissa Etheridge for $4.99 million.

NOTE: “. . . is better than you” is a Friday feature showcasing multi-million dollar celebrity homes in the hopes of generating feelings of jealousy, hatred, and animosity towards said celebrity. When you get down to the entertainment-dollar-spending core of it, you helped buy that home. Sucker!

Nick Hogan is a piece of shit

As we speak, Nick Hogan is in a Pinellas County, Florida, courtroom facing the music for that little street-racing accident last year that left his friend — Iraq War veteran John Graziano — with permanent mental and physical disabilities. Earlier in the morning, Nick plead no contest to a felony charge of reckless driving involving serious bodily injury; his sentence is at the full discretion of the judge. A few highlights of the proceedings via TMZ:

UPDATE 2:14 ET: Prepare for waterworks … here’s the victim’s dad, Ed Graziano. He tells the judge about John’s decorated service in the Marines. And he says, “What al Qaeda couldn’t do to my son, Nick did in a matter of minutes.”

UPDATE 2:18 ET: And Ed Graziano continues, saying that he spends 10 hours a day at the hospital with John, and that John will spend the rest of his life with mental and physical disabilities. Hulk is peering over at the Graziano family. Ed says that when Nick went to the hospital to see John, he looked totally bored, and even shot dart guns and skateboarded around the hospital! OMG!

UPDATE 2:25 ET: Now up, John’s sister Christian Carson. She says that sometimes she tries to call him, and breaks down when she realizes she can’t. Tough. And she says that Nick has never apologized for the crash.

UPDATE 2:32 ET: [John Graziano’s girlfriend] Ashley says that Nick’s license plate COEHSP stands for “Capable of Eluding High Speed Pursuit.”

Wow, Nick skateboarded around the hospital while his friend lay dying in bed. What a great guy. I think I’m in the majority here in hoping that part of Nick’s sentence involves stripping him naked, handcuffing his wrists to his ankles, and then setting him loose in San Quentin.*

*Voted by Travel & Leisure as 2008’s “Rapiest Prison in America!”

UPDATE: Nick’s sentence was just handed down: 8 months in Pinellas County Jail, 5 years probation, 500 hours community service, 3 years suspended license.

Sienna Miller attacks another paparazzi

I don’t know what it is about Sienna Miller but she always seems to be getting into fights with the paparazzi. The latest scuffle took place at LAX earlier this week. Splash News says:

Splash spied Sienna Miller yesterday afternoon as she arrived into Los Angeles LAX airport. The known pap hater was smiling as she waved goodbye to a pal, but looked over dressed in an array of layers, including a woollen dress, tights, Ugg boots and a beanie. So was it the heat that then led the starlet to boil over?

As the actress rushed to catch her flight, running with an airport staff member, one pap appeared to get too close, resulting in Sienna taking a swing at the photographer, with her pink handbag. Her vexed appearance was simmered by her airport greeter, but if she hadn’t had to catch a flight, I think Miss Miller would have happily gone back for another round!!

Wow! If most girls hit that hard, I’d never get laid.

[Splash News, BauerGriffinOnline]

Jayde Nicole

Jayde Nicole at a Playboy mansion luncheon honoring her as the 2008 Playmate of the Year

NOTE: 10 more pictures on PAGE 2

CLICK HERE to jump to 10 more Jayde Nicole pics on PAGE 2

The aftermath

Last Saturday, Cyclone Nargis hit the Southeast Asian country of Burma. With winds topping 150 mph, the country was left devastated. Think Katrina times 1000. Estimates on the number of dead have reached as high as 100,000. In other words, perfect time for an inappropriate PSA from the Kardashian sisters!

Though they lack even basic human necessities such as food and water, I’m sure those cyclone victims will sleep better tonight knowing that Kim’s dress was just *perfect*.

[ONTD]

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon surface

Since I know some of you care about this, here’s Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon at the Waverly Inn last night in New York — their first pics together since what many are calling the most shocking wedding since my sister’s Barbie married my Cobra Commander action figure. I never pegged her as the bad boy type.

[Splash News]

Charlie Sheen is getting married at the end of May. In Touch Weekly says:

A source close to Charlie Sheen and his fiancé, Brooke Mueller, reveals to In Touch exclusively that they are going to marry on May 30. The couple met at a party in early 2006 not long after Charlie separated from his then-wife, Denise Richards. He proposed to the actress/real estate agent with a $500,000 ring in July of 2007. This will be the Two and a Half Men star’s third marriage and Brooke’s first.

And for no good reason, in their “Living Legends of Sex” article, Maxim wrote:

CHARLIE SHEEN
CONQUESTS: 5,000
The son of Martin and brother of Emilio Estevez has an infamous lust for hookers. The irony is, of course, that Charlie’s also quite capable of getting ladies who’ll do the deed gratis. It’s how he managed to rack up 5,000 pairs of boots knocked. (Source)

Last year, Sheen wrote to his ex-wife Denise Richards:

“You are a pig. A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and, um, oh yeah, sad and jobless and evil and a bad mom, so go fuck yourself, sad, jobless pig . . . Go cry to your bald mom, you fucking loser.” Richards’ mother is undergoing treatment for breast cancer. (Source)

Australia’s news.com.au adds:

Hollywood actor Charlie Sheen allegedly hired the same callgirl involved in the Eliot Spitzer scandal for a fantasy themed threesome. Pimp Jason Itzler, 41, claims he sent Ashley Alexander Dupre under the name of Victoria and another girl, Cheryl to Sheen more than two years ago, the Daily Record reported. He claims Sheen paid $20,000 for a threesome with the girls dressed up as cheerleaders. “Sheen got the girls to dress up as cheerleaders . . . chanting ‘Charlie! Charlie! He’s our man. If he can’t do it, nobody can!’”. (Source)

And finally Female First says:

Former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss knew her ex-client Charlie Sheen’s marriage to Denise Richards was doomed because the playboy loved the company of prostitutes too much.

One prostitute, Chloe Jones, recently dismissed claims by the actor’s father Martin Sheen that the Wall Street star wasn’t cheating on Richards, by telling US tabloids that she and Sheen - an old client - met and enjoyed oral sex in a Hollywood hotel in February, 2005.

And now Fleiss admits she isn’t surprised that Sheen’s marriage is over. She says, “The guy’s a rat.” Fleiss admits she feels sorry for the actor’s pregnant wife Richards. She adds, “She’s got to be devastated… (She should) take all the money and move on and forget about him.” (Source)

I really have no idea how Charlie’s marriage to Brooke will go, but how much you wanna bet they move to a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, have four kids, and live happily ever after.

[WENN]

NSFW!

Don’t click the picture. Just trust me dude, don’t click the picture.

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