Archive: December, 2006

Italian actress Caterina Murino

Lohan has made amends with Scott Storch, the man that helped Brandon Davis make the famous “Firecrotch” song. Just two months ago, Storch was videotaped at an Hollywood In-N-Out restaurant declaring that he was “celebrating Firecrotch Day” and even that his car had red “firecrotch interior for the occasion.”

Spies say Lohan showed up at Miami club Mansion at 3 a.m. yesterday morning and sipped Coca-Colas with Storch until 5 a.m. “They met at the door with hugs,” said our spy. And when they left, “Storch even let Lohan drive his million-dollar Bugatti home.”

Unbelievable this guy let Lindsay drive his million-dollar car home. I know this is supposed to be the new and improved Lindsay Lohan who drinks Coca-Cola and helps blind people across the street, but c’mon, I wouldn’t even let that chick borrow my bus pass. She’d probably lose it and then how else would I pick up my dates?

Ali Larter shopping in New York

According to The National Enquirer’s Mike Walker, Sarah Jessica Parker has it written into every contract that “no matter where in the world she’s filming, the New York Times must be delivered to her door daily…no matter what the cost.” The only reason I mention this boring story is because Walker also wrote that Barbra Streisand used to demand that flower petals be scattered into the toilet bowls at the hotels she was stayed at when she toured. That’s right folks–flower petals into the toilet. I learned in health class that the only thing that should ever be put into a toilet is human waste, and maybe torn up love letters from my ex-girlfriend. Will I ever be able to love again? My mind says yes, but my heart keeps telling me no. Coincidentally, the judge that issued the restraining order also said no. Dickhead

English glamour model Nell McAndrew

Splash News

Damn. Looks like Meg is smuggling half-filled sandbags under that shirt. For the sake of men everywhere, Meg, invest in a heavy coat.

Amy Smart at the Battle of Shaker Heights premiere

It’s been a pretty good week for broken bones in Hollywood. Arnold Schwarzenegger broke his hip over the weekend and Uma Thurman broke her wrist last week after falling on the set of her latest movie The Accidental Husband. Regarding Uma’s accident, a source tells the New York Daily News:

“Uma was jumping to reach something and fell on her hand. “She went to bed, and by the next day it had swollen, so she went to the hospital and needed surgery. The production will have to be shut down for an extra week because of the broken bones.”

I can understand Arnold breaking his hip–he’s getting old–but when did Uma Thurman turn into a frail 80-year-old woman with osteoporosis? And why the hell am I writing about Uma Thurman?!? Sorry, it’s been a really slow news week. I’m looking forward to 2007, or as I’m predicting: “Year of the Overdose”

Anne Hathaway spent the Friday night before Christmas living it up at a New York gay bar. Hathaway and friends originally tried to get into the Gramercy Park Hotel but were turned away by bouncers obviously unfamiliar with her recent films The Devil Wears Prada and Brokeback Mountain. From The New York Daily News:

Undeterred, her friends took her instead to Snaxx - a W. 23rd St. bar for burly gay men known as “bears.” “No one hassled her, and she had a great time,” said a witness. “It was beer night.”

Of course no one hassled Anne–she was in a damn gay bar. Everyone in that place was probably too busy grinding to Christina Aguilera to worry about something with a vagina. At least I assume that’s what they’d be doing. I’ve never actually been inside a gay bar….Okay. One time. It was for a scavenger hunt and one of the items on the list was one of those little umbrellas that go on top of strawberry daiquiris.

Pamela Anderson’s recent date with wealthy playboy Steve Bing, Elizabeth Hurley’s former flame, was a total flop. Despite being set up by Pamela’s close friend Heidi Fleiss, the famed “Hollywood Madam,” the date went nowhere. According to a source:

“[Bing] kept telling her she was beautiful, but that doesn’t work with Pam.” Anderson, who split from Kid Rock last month, “likes guys who are a little rough with her.” The rendezvous was such a flop, she was home by 9:30 p.m. Bing’s rep didn’t return calls and Anderson’s mouthpiece pooh-poohed the report.

I don’t think we should keep calling this guy a “playboy” if he took Pamela Anderson on a date and didn’t break out the condoms and lubricant. The only possible way to strike out on a date with Pam is if you do something really stupid like take her to a Klan rally. Even then, I’m sure you could at least talk her into a BJ. It’s like hunting at an animal shelter. It’s hard to fuck it up.

One more of Pamela looking like a clown after the jump…

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