Archive: February, 2007

Since it was announced that Harrison Ford would be starring in the fourth installment of the Indiana Jones franchise–due to hit theatres in 2008–the star has been on a “grueling fitness regime.” Ford last played the role of the professor/adventurer/archeologist nearly 18 years ago while still a spry 46-year-old. According to his girlfriend, Calista Flockhart:

“He’s on a strict high-protein diet. He’s eating lots of fish and vegetables. It’s hard but he’s already looking great for it. He wants to make sure Indy is as tough as he always was.” (Source)

I love it when old people try to act like they’re still valued members of society. It’s so darn funny. Like Somalia, what with its dirt roads, sectarian violence, lack of potable water, and high infant mortality rate … It’s a laugh riot!

Sharon Stone was a busy women Sunday Night. After the Academy Awards, the star hosted an Elton John AIDS benefit auction. The event was a resounding success, raising millions of dollars for AIDS research. The least expensive item of the night, a private soccer lesson with $250 million man David Beckham, sold for a cool $70,000. One guest remarked:

“Guess it shows how much Americans care about soccer.” (Source)

Typical Hollywood elite, bitching about someone spending “only” $70,000 on a soccer lesson with David Beckham. You want a free soccer lesson? How ’bout: don’t play soccer. Seriously this isn’t Europe. Here in America, we play real sports like fantasy football and NASCAR. That teenage son of yours you forced into AYSO soccer at age nine? He’s gay. Seriously, ask him tonight at dinner. This has nothing whatsoever to do with this story, I just thought you should know.

More of David playing with his balls after the jump…

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Catherine Zeta-Jones at the Food Network Awards Show

More of Catherine after the jump…

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Paris Hilton was busted last night for driving with a suspended license. Though Paris wasn’t taken into custody, her $200,000 Bentley Continental GTC was impounded. The socialite was pulled over outside a West Hollywood Virgin Megastore for speeding and driving without her headlights on around 11pm. According to Paris’ spokesman, Elliot Mintz, she didn’t know her headlights weren’t on because she had just left a brightly lit parking structure. And of course, the suspended license part wasn’t her fault either:

“When she called me, she asked if her license was suspended,” Mintz said early Wednesday. “If that’s the case, she and I are unaware of it.” The 26-year-old starlet was picked up by a friend and taken home after the incident. (Source)

Don’t be too hard on Paris for forgetting to turn on her headlights, she’s probably still a bit jetlagged from her TRIP TO THE SUN

UPDATE: TMZ is saying that the arrest violated Paris’ probation and that she could spend as much as 90 days in jail as a result. Dear God, remember that prayer last night about my Grandpa’s cancer and how I said it would be the last thing I ever bothered you about? Well I have one more small little favor to ask…

Is Josh Hartnett a hero? No, of course not. Why would you even ask such a stupid question? At most he’s a “stand-up citizen.” At least that’s what the New York Post called him for coming to aid of a women outside New York’s Whiskey Ward bar at 4am the other night. According to a source:

“[Josh] stopped a guy from harassing a woman. He was just helping her out. No punches were thrown - there were just some raised voices on the corner.” (Source)

So basically a drunk Josh Harnett told a guy to stop yelling at a hooker (c’mon it was 4am). And this was deemed newsworthy by a major New York publication. Yet this video clip of my kitten trapped in a pillowcase couldn’t even crack my local cable access news. You don’t understand, it’s a kitten trapped in a pillowcase, IT’S FREAKING CUTE.

The National Enquirer has learned that Anna Nicole Smith died of pneumonia–not a drug overdose. According to a source close to the investigation, the prescription painkillers Anna was taking may have masked the symptoms and possibly quickened the effects of the pneumonia. From the Enquirer:

The preliminary findings reveal that tests performed during the autopsy show Anna Nicole had a severe case of pneumonia. Prescription drugs that she had taken made the condition worse and did play a role in her death. The full toxicology report has not yet been completed. Anna Nicole had previously been hospitalized for pneumonia in the Bahamas after her son died. (Source)

Wait, “pneumonia” is just a euphemism for “massive heroine overdose,” right? Oh it’s not? Well then I’m confused. Because sickly old people in the 1930s die of pneumonia, not 38-year-old adults in 2007. What’s next, Britney Spears dying of shingles? Or maybe Paris Hilton dropping dead from a nasty case of whooping cough.

The Los Angeles Police Department is investigating rap mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs over an alleged assault that occurred Sunday Night. 27-year-old Gerard Rechnitzer, a Los Angeles real estate broker, was at a post-Oscar party at the Roosevelt Hotel with his fiancée. While leaving the party at 2am, Rechnitzer made a quick trip to the bathroom. When he emerged, he noticed a group of six men–including Diddy–surrounding his fiancée. According to TMZ:

…the 5′7″, 140 lb. Rechnitzer watched as Combs chatted up his girl for about five minutes, and then asked his fiancée to leave with him. At that point, Combs allegedly told the woman he was having a party and invited her to come. Rechnitzer persisted and asked his fiancée again to leave with him. Combs then allegedly socked Rechnitzer in the jaw.

Rechnitzer, a real estate broker, called 911. The LAPD came out and took a report, but Combs had left before the cops arrived. An ambulance came but Rechnitzer declined treatment. (Source)

So this dude was standing a few feet away watching another guy hit on his fiancée for five minutes. Unbelievable. I hope this assault case gets taken to trial: “We the jury find the plaintiff, Gerard Rechnitzer, guilty of being a HUGE PUSSY.” I’m not sure how the legal system works but I’m pretty sure switcheroos like that are allowed.

Jenna Jameson at the “Night Of 100 Stars” Oscar Gala and this old leather shoe I found in the dumpster behind my apartment.

In addition to the birthday party she threw for herself in Las Vegas two weeks ago, Paris Hilton had a bash at her L.A. home last weekend. Normally I could care less about this–what interests me is what one guest revealed to the Daily News about Hilton’s home decor:

“Her house is crazy. She has a stripper pole in her living room and pictures of herself everywhere - big black-and-white blowups, and her covers all framed on the wall.” (Source)

Yep, this is pretty much how I’ve always pictured Paris Hilton’s house. Well except the stripper pole. Even I didn’t think she was that big of a slut. She’s like the Rosa Parks of whores, breaking down seemingly insurmountable barriers … BTW, I guarantee that joke went over Paris’ head. She probably thinks Rosa Parks is one of the few sexually transmitted diseases she doesn’t have.

More of uber-whore after the jump…

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+ Bijou Phillips is both topless and headless. WTF? [Egotastic!]

+ New solution to clean up the streets. Awesome video [College Humor]
+ Rose McGowan’s dress is a wee bit too small [Bastardly]
+ Petra Nemcova has nipples (NSFW page) [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Jennifer Aniston is not dating a cameraman [I’m Not Obsessed]

+ Did Anna die from a terminal disease? [Dlisted]
+ Looks like Lindsay lost some weight in rehab [The Skinny]
+ Courtney Love looks fucking hideous [ICYDK]
+ Some white dude calls a black dude ‘gay’ [Bossip]

+ Get your own insane Britney doll [The Evil Beet]
+ A tribute to bald Jack Nicholson [Best Week Ever]
+ Utterly ridiculous. I want a recount. [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Does this make Hayden Panettiere an offical dork? [NinjaDude]