Archive: August, 2007

Bauer-Griffin

+ Rachel Leigh Cook almost has cleavage, almost [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Gwen Stefani Bikini Pictures [Egotastic!]

+ I didn’t know George Clooney was this short . . . [Just Jared]
+ How to ruin your Ferrari like a pro [Attuworld]
+ Who’s a better kisser than Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom? [Cele|bitchy]
+ I still can’t believe Hugh Grant cheated on this chick [Horny Oyster]
+ Janice Dickinson fell into a pool lol (w/pics) [The Blemish]

Tupac Outtakes: Ain’t no outtakes like west coast outtakes.

Half-Time Contest: Put a blindfold on an overweight woman and make her run on a field in front of thousands of fans. The comedy writes itself.

Splash News

After leaving a taping of the Conan O’Brien show earlier this week, some crazy lady ambushed Ryan Reynolds and kissed him on the lips. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one this happens to. Ryan and I should get together for a cup of coffee or something and swap war stories. Plus I could teach him some ab exercises.

Bauer-Griffin

OK I promise you this is the final post of the week featuring one of those bitches from The Hills. It’s just that I was blindsided yesterday by a cache of about 75 bikini pics of Lauren, Audrina, and this chick. I think–no, I hope–she’s one of the boom mike operators. She reminds me of a semi-retarded Katherine Heigl, only more retarded.

NOTE: That last sentence was pulled directly from my wedding vows. Love ya’ honey!

Splash News

Hummingbird shirt? Check. Capris? Check? Tampons? I can’t see his back pocket, but I’d have to assume, check. Ashton Kutcher looks like he’s ready for a busy day of scrapbooking and bitching about making only 70 cents to the dollar.

Getty

Keira Knightley at the 64th Annual Venice Film Festival on Thursday

More Keira Knightley pics after the jump…

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Bauer-Griffin

Paris Hilton has officially moved out of the $65,000/mo beach house she’s occupied for the last three months. According to a real estate agent in Malibu, the owners of the 2,250 sq. ft. property are debating between either setting fire to the main structure or leveling it with a controlled demolition. Hmmmm, that’s a tough one. I mean I love demolitions as much as the next guy but Paris did live in the house for three months. I think fire is the practical choice here.

Here’s Hayden Panettiere in the October issue of FHM for everyone to masturbate to enjoy. This chick needs to change her freaking last name. Every time I write something about her I manage to misspell it. I blame the inadequate public school system. And lead-based paint. Why does it have to be so damn delicious!

Bauer-Griffin

The declaration Kevin Federline filed against ex-wife Britney Spears on Monday was released today. According to the document, Federline wants a 70/30 custody split of the couples two young sons, Sean Preston, 23 months, and Jayden James, 11 months. It’s also revealed that Britney makes an average of $737,868 a month. Or in terms Britney can understand, roughly 180,000 Slim Jims per week–more if she goes to Costco!

Splash News

INFDaily.com

Two singles off of Britney Spears upcoming album (release on 11/13)–”Gimme More” and “Cold as Fire”–were leaked on the Internet late yesterday. I know it sounds like Britney but pardon me for being a little skeptical. Where are the dueling banjos, fiddles, and spoons? And cider jug dammit, I hear no one on the cider jug! F-A-K-E

Check out both of Britney Spears’ new singles after the jump…

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Bauer-Griffin

+ Jennifer Garner’s orgasm face is pretty damn funny [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Check out Miss Teen USA 2007 Lauren Caitlin Upton [Bastardly]
+ Flashback: Sharon Stone Topless Pictures [Egotastic!]
+ Shia LaBeouf is banging Rihanna? [I’m Not Obsessed]
+ Two new Britney songs leaked [Dlisted]

+ Mariah Carey nipple slip (semi-NSFW) [College Humor]
+ Salma Hayek will not be a housewife [Lossip]
+ Lindsay Lohan caught doing drugs–and a dude–in rehab? [Yeeeah!]
+ Jude Law could do better [ICYDK]

+ Celebrity lesbian crushes [CityRag]
+ Tom and Katie’s bodyguard tells all! [popbytes]
+ Nicole Richie is a famewhore again [The Evil Beet]
+ Bridget Moynahan is a bitch [Celebrity Warship]

Simpsons Star Wars: Made by Comic Book Guys, for Comic Book Guys.

Parking Garage Mishap: “I thought “D” meant “Don’t Move!”