Archive: Ashlee Simpson

Ashlee Simpson

A very pregnant Ashlee Simpson leaving a friends house in Beverly Hills (7/1)

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Ashlee Simpson and her pregnancy boobs in Hollywood (6/10)

If you don’t think Joe Simpson is using that picture for the family Christmas card, you don’t know Joe Simpson very well.

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Ashlee Simpson confirms pregnancy

The newly christened Ashlee Wentz confirmed her pregnancy on husband Pete Wentz’s website Friends or Enemies yesterday. Just days after her engagement to Wentz last month, rumors began circulating that the singer was pregnant. They were right. Ashlee wrote:

“While many have speculated about this, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our first child. This is truly the most joyous time in our lives and we are excited to share the happy news and start our family.” (Source)

Wait, wait, wait, she’s already in her second trimester? The first trimester lasts 98 days. Ashlee and Pete were married 11 days ago . . . divide by two . . . carry the one . . . YOU FUCKING WHORE! You know, I had heard that young kids were engaged in these types of premarital activities but their was a still a part of my God-fearing heart that didn’t believe it was true.

Pete Wentz tries to be funny. Fails.

Did you know Pete Wentz wanted to try out for NBC’s Last Comic Standing but producers deemed him “too funny” and “unfair to the other competitors.” True story.

NOTE: Make sure you check out the site tomorrow as I’ll be posting exclusive pics of Pete walking around with a suitcase on his head while Ashlee looks on laughing hysterically. People aren’t supposed to wear suitcases on their head!

[Pacific Coast News]

Ashlee’s parents house last Friday

Turns out those tents set up at Ashlee Simpson’s parent’s house late last week weren’t for her wedding. They were for Papa Joe’s annual neighborhood circus in which he dresses up as a creepier-than-usual clown and forces the mommies wearing white tank tops and no bra to sit in the dunk tank. OK I’m lying. Ashlee and Pete actually did get married on Saturday. According to my exclusive sources, the bride wore a beautiful ivory lace wedding gown while the groom wore “something from Hot Topic.” The cake — topped with a shotgun and broken condom — was “delicious.”

Pete Wentz arriving to Ashlee’s parents’ house for the wedding (5/17)

[INFDaily.com]

Ashlee Simpson marrying Pete Wentz tomorrow

Looks like those rumors about Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz getting married this weekend were true. The weddings going down at her parent’s house in Encino tomorrow afternoon. Us Weekly says:

On Thursday, crews erected a massive (Ed. Note: tee-he) white tent with bright red curtains in the backyard of Simpson’s parents’ Encino, California home. (Source)

Ashlee and Pete have asked their guests to dress in dark colors for the ceremony. How nonconforming! And since this wedding just wouldn’t be a Simpson wedding without a little bit of creepiness, Papa Joe “begged” Jessica’s now ex-boyfriend Tony Romo to show up to “support the family.” He also asked the guy that took Ashlee’s virginity in 1999, Troy Johnson, to give a little speech about the night his daughter officially became a woman . . . OK, he didn’t actually ask Troy that but there’s a good 36 hours until the ceremony so don’t count that out.

[INFDaily.com]

Ashlee Simpson flashed Pete Wentz on their first date

Pete Wentz revealed to an L.A. radio station earlier this week that the first time he and fiancée Ashlee Simpson hung out, she flashed him. Via E!:

The betrothed couple blabbered about their beginnings on L.A. radio station STAR 98.7 FM this morning, with Wentz complaining that Ashlee kept him “in the friend zone” for a full year. Ashlee so completely didn’t notice Pete that, after they had already met, he had to email her a photo of him to jog her memory.

But things apparently took off quickly after that: “The first time we hung out she flashed me,” Pete says.

“I lifted my dress over my head for him,” Ashlee says. “So it was love at first sight.” (Source)

How could Ashlee NOT notice Pete? The guy wears more make-up than a battered wife. And I don’t think the term “love at first sight” is right choice of words when describing a first date that includes the chick “lifting her dress over her head” — I’d use something more along the lines of “WHOREEEEEE” or “SLUTTTTTT.” Either way, I just hope after Ashlee flashed Pete her vagina, he flashed his.

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Whoah, where’d those come from?!?

Jessica Simpson has been laying it on heavy to boyfriend Tony Romo lately because she’s jealous that younger sister Ashlee is stealing the spotlight. A source told Star magazine:

“(Jessica would) love nothing more than to get married before Ashlee. It upsets her that her little sister will be married and she won’t. She gets jealous when Ash gets more attention . . . She’s been showing [boyfriend Tony Romo] rings in magazines. She tells him what she likes, and she does it right in front of his friends, too, so it’s really awkward. She been joking to friends that she should take Tony to Vegas, get him drunk and drag him to the Little White Wedding Chapel.” (Source)

Does everything have to be a competition between these two? Jessica gets huge boobs, Ashlee follows suit. Jessica becomes a pop star, Ashlee follows suit. Jessica fades into obscurity, Ashlee follows suit. Jessica does two chicks at the same time in those pictures I sketched this morning, Ashlee follows suit. At least after the two of them finally do get married, I can look forward to watching them race to file for divorce.

NOTE: Jessica better book that flight to Vegas because Hollyscoop claims that Ashlee is marrying Pete Wentz next Friday

Ashlee Simpson is pregnant

It’s been a busy few days for Ashlee Simpson. Engaged on Wednesday. Pregnant on Monday. Us Weekly says:

The singer, 23, is expecting her first child with fiancé Pete Wentz, 28. Simpson and the Fall Out Boy frontman announced their engagement Wednesday. “We are thrilled to confirm their engagement and congratulate this happy couple,” a spokesperson for the couple told Us. “Beyond that there is nothing to say.” Simpson’s rep had no comment. (Source)

Poor kids. There’s really no telling when or even who these accidental pregnancies will strike. Race, class, socioeconomic status, it doesn’t matter. If only there was a way this could have been prevented, perhaps with something condomlike. Clearly we need to throw more research dollars at this problem.

[Pacific Coast News]

Ashlee Simpson is engaged

Ashlee Simpson is engaged now or something. A family friend told In Touch Weekly:

“He got down on one knee and she said yes. She has an amazing ring, and they are so in love.”

The friend didn’t reveal who exactly Ashlee is engaged to but my guess is spray tan. I’m hardly ever wrong.

UPDATE: Turns out she’s actually engaged to her boyfriend Pete Wentz and not spray tan. Ashlee posted the following message on her website last night:

“We know there has been a lot of speculation recently about Pete and I and we wanted our fans to be the first to know, because you guys are the best. Yes, we are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged. Thank you for all of your support and well wishes - it means the world to us. We consider this to be a very private matter, but we wanted you to hear it straight from us.”

[WENN]