Archive: Brad Pitt

Angelina Jolie gives birth to fraternal twins

After weeks of false alarms (see here and here), Angelina Jolie finally gave birth to her twins — a boy and a girl — late Saturday night in Nice, France. The picture below is the mayor of Nice, Christian Estrosi, showing the birth certificates for Angelina and Brad’s new kids, Knox Leon and sister Vivienne Marcheline, on Sunday. He told reporters assembled outside Fondation Lenval hospital:

“On behalf of the inhabitants of Nice, I congratulate the happy parents, the most famous couple in the world, who have chosen our city for this happy event. We are truly honored and thankful to have them here.” (Source)

For those of you keeping score at home, Angelina and Brad now have six kids. Which, coincidentally, is the perfect number of people to form an elite crew of international cat burglars. I’m just saying, those kids have been a little too quiet lately.

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Not pictured: peace and quiet

Angelina Jolie hasn’t even given birth to her twins yet and she already wants to adopt another kid. An insider told OK! magazine:

“Angie and Brad have wanted an African boy for the last couple of years. They were initially going to have that adoption follow the addition of Pax last year, but that all changed when Angie got pregnant with twins last fall.”

Now the adoption will have to take place after the twins are born. The in-the-know source said the pair was well into the process of adopting a baby from Ethiopia before learning of Angelina’s latest pregnancy. (Source)

This is getting ridiculous. Brad and Angelina are turning into my grandmother (minus the soiled underwear and boring stories about condoms costing only a nickel). But instead of collecting little porcelain dolls, these two ego-maniacs are collecting the real thing. I just hope that Brad and Angelina realize (unlike grammy) that the main difference between kiln-glazed figurines and real people is that when you eventually grow tired of them, you can’t resell them on Craigslist . . . unless of course you’re these people.

[Pacific Coast News]

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are obscenely rich

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie dropped $140,000 earlier this month at popular L.A. baby boutique Petit Tresor on a nursery for their soon-to-be-born twin girls . . . actually $140,101 if you count the c note Brad used to light his cigar as he was exiting the store and the one dollar bill he crumpled up and threw at a homeless beggar. The New York Daily News has the details.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are preparing their L.A. manse for their twin girls. With the help of baby boutique Petit Tresor, the erstwhile Mr. and Mrs. Smith have created a $140,000 nursery that puts J.Lo and Marc Anthony’s baby haven to shame. Team Jolie-Pitt bought organza bassinets ($800), Versailles-style cribs ($3,200) with matching changing tables ($2,800), armoires ($4,500) and silk gliders. They even installed two pink crystal chandeliers for the girls at a cost of $899 each. But the couple bought basics, too, like loads of oh-so-practical cashmere baby toys. We also hear it took a team of three people from the store to assemble the nursery. (Source)

With the exclusive first pictures of their newborns rumored to be commanding $15 million+ from tabloids, word is that team of three Petit Tresor sent included one person to actually assemble the nursery and two to set up hidden cameras. Amateurs. With seven feet of coaxial cable, a 24 bit binary router, and a high resolution auto-focus Samsung SC-HMX10, that kind of invasive surveillance could have easily been set up in 12-13 minutes by just one person. I heard.

[Getty]

Brad Pitt hearts furniture

Brad Pitt dropped hundreds of thousands of dollars on furniture yesterday at the Design Miami/Basel fair in Switzerland. Among his purchases were 4,000 couches and 1,500 tables. Kidding. Pitt bought two of those chairs above @ $25k each, the lamp (price undisclosed), and the table below ($293,000). He also bought a rug made of aluminum thread that runs $175/sq foot, and is rumored to be interested in a fiberglass sofa that costs $300,000. Fair director Loic Le Gaillard told Bloomberg News:

“Most people come to Basel to look at contemporary art, but it’s completely overwhelming,” said Le Gaillard. “Then they come to the design fair and it’s quiet. They can see contemporary works that are affordable and refreshingly accessible.”

Pitt’s 4-foot-long “Cinderella Table,” from an edition of six, is hewn from a solid block of Carrara marble. Another version of the table was among 16 pieces that the gallery had sold by the second afternoon of the fair, said Le Gaillard. (Source)

In related news, I have a pretty sweet bookcase in my living room that I built of stolen cinder blocks and boards. Thing’s easily got another five years of life in it.

Angelina did not give birth

So remember last week when I posted that thing about Angelina Jolie having her babies? Entertainment Tonight claimed a source “close to the actress” confirmed that Jolie had given birth in France. Jolie’s rep called bullshit and over the next few days we had a gay old time laughing and pointing at ET. But who duped the news outlet? Jolie’s law firm has put the media on notice that a “random impostor” posing as Jolie’s assistant has been dishing out “fictionalized tips.” From the New York Daily News:

The legal letter warned, “This is a fake. A scam on the media and the public.” The real name of the person who posed as Jolie’s assistant - and duped “Entertainment Tonight” into reporting the premature birth of the Brangelina twins - has been located, we hear. A source tells The News’ Nancy Dillon that Jolie’s camp is investigating whether the unnamed impersonator “actively sought out” the attention of the media or “simply replied” to inquiries sent by an “ET” producer. (Source)

It’s pretty obvious who the “random impostor” was. Her first name begins with Jennifer and her last name ends with Aniston. Another clue the fake announcement was made by Jen: the email’s originated from a Baskin-Robbins. Of course this trickery could have been orchestrated by the originator of tasteless humor and over the top pranks: Ashton Kutcher Clay Aiken’s stylist.

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s $70 million house

That resort-like thing above is Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s new home in France. The couple is rumored to have just purchased the 1000 acre estate for $70 million. E! says:

With 35 bedrooms, plus a vineyard, lake, forest and moat, Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh and the soon-to-be-born twins are going to be playing house in high style.

“It’s called Chateau Miraval in a village called Brignol, which is near from Aix-en-Provence,” a source tells E! News. “And it’s absolutely unbelievable.” (Source)

E! says Brad and Angelina bought the house but I’m also hearing they only leased the house for three years. E! also says with that cardboard partition I added around my computer desk, it totally feels like I have my own office now.

[Splash News]

Angelina Jolie confirms she’s having twins

Angelina Jolie confirms the rumors on tonight’s Access Hollywood that she’s having twins. The two kids will be Angelina and Brad Pitt’s fifth and sixth children (second and third “real” babies). While giving an interview together about their upcoming movie Kung Fu Panda, Angelina’s costar Jack Black let the news slip:

“You’re gonna have as many as (the) ‘Brady Bunch’ when you have these,” Jack joked.

“It’s confirmed? Is it two?”, [Natalie Morales of the Today Show] asked.

“Yeah, yeah, we’ve confirmed that already,” Angelina responded. “Well, Jack’s just confirmed it actually.”

“Is that true?”, Jack said jokingly.

“Yeah, you did,” Angelina replied.

“Sorry,” Jack concluded.

“So you’re having twins?”, Natalie asked, as Angelina nodded with a ‘yes.’

“Do you know the sexes of the babies”, Natalie asked. “Or, are you keeping that private?”

“We would like to keep that private,” Angelina said.

“Are you going to stay here in France to deliver?”, Natalie also asked at one point.

“Possibly,” Angelina responded. (Source)

You know those games they have at fairs where you have to guess how many jelly beans are in a jar? I think it’d be cool if Angelina held a contest like that once she pops out these two kids. How many jelly beans can she fit up her vagina? A dollar a guess, all money goes to charity. My guess is ten trillion through ten trillion and fifty. I know that’s fifty bucks but I’ll just write it off.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s house shot at

A “mystery gunman” opened fire outside of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s Los Feliz home last week, hitting two vehicles. The truck with the camper belongs to a member of Pitt and Jolie’s security team while the Range Rover belongs to a neighbor. Police have ruled out all blood relatives of Angelina’s three adopted children as there were no rocks found at the scene.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie just completed purchase of an island off the coast of Dubai. In the shape of Ethiopia, the island is part of the luxury man-made development known as “The World” (pic below). Emirates Today reports:

The Hollywood couple intend to use the reclaimed piece of land to showcase environmental issues and encourage people to live a greener life. Representatives of the pair in the US and other reliable sources had confirmed the purchase had gone ahead. But state-owned Nakheel, the firm behind the development called “The World”, declined to comment, the paper said. Prices for the islands range from six million to 36 million dollars. (Source)

This is just one more example of poor money management by the rich and famous. Who’s advising these people? For the same amount of money these two spent on a replica island of Ethiopia, these rocket scientists could have bought Ethiopia!

A word of advice to the wanna-be real estate moguls: Next time you’re looking to purchase some land in a violent, Third World hellhole, don’t dismiss New Jersey. There’s deals to be had.

UPDATE: Brad’s rep is denying the story. And the Holocaust. What an asshole.

Looks like Angelina Jolie’s sordid past may be causing a rift with Brad Pitt’s mother. The Pitt matriarch was pissed after Jolie told a U.K. publication she had used “every drug possible.” A source told Star magazine:

“Jane was livid after she saw Angelina’s drug quotes — and she really let Angie have it when they were on the phone together shortly after. Jane told Angie there was nothing to gain from rehashing her drug use, and that she has a lot more to think about than herself — she should have considered her children and family first! [Brad Pitt] agreed that Angie’s latest admission was uncalled for — but he also told his mom that maybe she was being a little too hard on her. Brad reminded his mother how far Angie has come from her wild days, and that this blowup was only going to set their relationship back again.” (Source)

Are drugs really the most dangerous thing Angelina used to put into her body? I’d put Billy Bob Thornton’s johnson a little higher on the list. And why is Brad’s mom so concerned about Angelina’s past anyway? Shouldn’t she be more concerned about the present, mainly Angelina morphing into an extra from a Sally Struthers’ commercial? Instead of gulping pills down her throat these days, it looks like she’s been gulping her finger.