Archive: Denise Richards

Richie Sambora and Denise Richards in Hawaii (1/2007)

Even though Denise Richards claimed on her reality show — a show in which she’s supposedly “setting the record straight” — that she never stole Richie Sambora away from friend Heather Locklear, Denise Richards definitley stole Richie Sambora away from friend Heather Locklear. A source told the New York Post:

“Heather has phone records that prove Denise was calling Richie while Heather was still married to him. Heather was such a good friend to Denise. She gave Denise clothes and offered her a shoulder to cry on when she and [now ex-husband] Charlie [Sheen] split up - there are even photos in the press of Heather taking Denise out after she and Charlie split. And then a few weeks later - not months - Denise starts dating Richie. For Denise to claim that not only did she not initiate contact with Richie but that she and Heather weren’t friends for three months before she took up with him, well, that’s just absurd and an outright lie.” (Source)

Can you really blame Denise for stealing away such a magnificent physical specimen like Richie Sambora? She couldn’t help it. So what if his eyes have more bags than a bellhop? Big deal if he’s still a fan of the mullet? And who cares if he looks like he’s smuggling illegals in his stomach? The bottom line is that he was perfect for Denise — both use their mouth to pay the bills.

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are fighting again

The Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards feud is heating up again. Denise is making the rounds this week promoting her new reality show on E!. On Wednesday she claimed on the Today Show that Charlie faked the emails he claims Denise sent him begging him for sperm so she could have more kids. She told the New York Post yesterday:

“I don’t want Charlie’s prostitute-tranny-infested sperm. I have two beautiful kids. We’ll leave it at that. I am so over him. He’s the one who can’t move on. He’s disgusting, and he’s hit an all-time low.”

Denise also claims Charlie recently sent her a vulgar text message attacking her mother, who recently died of cancer:

“Last week, I sent Charlie a text message asking him if he’s going to Family Day [for daughter Sam’s school] and letting him know Sam was sick with a cold. His response was, ‘I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore. My mom died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis. He missed Dad’s day at the school, and my father had to go in his place. And this is how he talks to me?” (Source)

Wow. These two fling more shit at each other than angry monkeys at the zoo. And who knows, with biting insults like “prostitute-tranny-infested sperm,” Denise might just have a future as a gossip blogger. Of course the real victims in this feud are the children. They’ll grow up to resent their father for his misogyny and envy their mother for her implants . . . so a lot like “Candy” down at the Spearmint Rhino.*

*slip her an extra twenty during your lap dance and she’ll let you be more “grabby.”

Denise Richards bikini pics! (Hawaii - 4/24)

“And now appearing on the main stage gentleman is the always sexy Denise!”

[Splash News]

Denise Richards bikini pics! (Maui - 4/23)

I’m almost positive the hula is just a made up dance to make drunken tourists look like idiots. Hawaiians don’t actually do that shit. Oh, and when you make that clever joke about being “lei’d,” they secretly want to punch you in the face. This concludes your friendly Celebslam PSA. Good day.

[INFDaily.com]

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Pull up a chair because the Denise Richards/Charlie Sheen custody battle is starting to get good. From the New York Daily News:

Denise Richards walloped Charlie Sheen with a custody action yesterday, claiming he was an unfit dad. The “Two and a Half Men” star shot back: “Clearly the mother of my children has no interest in responsible co-parenting when it comes to my relationship with our girls. She behaves as though she owns our children. She does not. A day of legal reckoning for her is fast approaching. The truth will prevail.” (Source)

Wow, what a wordsmith! Interesting fact of the day: Did you know that Charlie Sheen wrote the first bible? It’s true! In the original version, Psalms 2, Chapter 8, Verse 7 read something like, “And when thou talketh to a prostitute, remindith her to swallow . . . lest she defile ye own’s carpet.” Another little known fact is that Charlie’s original version of the Ninth Commandment read: “Do not covet thy neighbor’s wife . . . unless she’s hot. Or if her husband’s not home. Or if she’s breathing. As a matter of fact, don’t live by any neighbors!”

Denise Richards out and about in Malibu earlier in the week

More of Denise after the jump…

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Denise, there’s better ways to get your name in the news than hanging out with Richie Sambora and flashing your vagina. Shooting sprees for example. Sure a few may be killed and you may even do a little time but, hey, guess who’d be the lead story on CNN? And for those of you who think these shots were merely the result of an eagle-eyed cameraman with perfect timing, how do you explain the fact that Denise held this pose for 43 minutes? Whore.

Note: People are claiming that Denise is doing cocaine in the pictures below. The people making these claims are retarded as Denise is obviously not doing cocaine. It’s meth. Kidding, it’s sunscreen.

More vagitastic shots after the jump…

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Denise Richards is still pissed at Charlie Sheen:

DENISE RICHARDS, dining at the Farm restaurant in BevHills, served up sour grapes to soon-to-be ex-hubby CHARLIE SHEEN’s new galpal BROOKE MUELLER, who was sitting at a nearby table. Denise padded up to Brooke and catty-cooed: “I want to give you a little advice that I think you will benefit from… If I were you, I’d run as fast as you can. Charlie is nothing but bad news!” Denise bolted before a stunned Brooke could open her mouth. That evening, a hopping-mad Charlie phoned his ex — and warned her to keep her fat mouth shut!

What a bitch Denise Richards is. Just because a guy cheats on you with your sister, the entire cast of Laguna Beach, and an army of big-breasted circus midgets doesn’t mean he deserves that kind of treatment.* Lighten up already.

*disclaimer: that thing about the sister is totally assumed on my part
[Source]