DMX is under arrest

DMX was arrested early this morning at his Cave Creek, Arizona, home on seven counts of misdemeanor animal cruelty and four counts of felony drug possession — his second arrest this week. The arrest stems from the August 2007 raid of the rapper’s house in which police discovered 12 emaciated pit bulls, the bodies of three dogs, a large cache of weapons, and drugs. Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio told the Arizona Daily News:

“It was a tough case. We were not in a rush, we put a lot of time on it but you don’t rush into an investigation.” (Source)

Really? It took eight months to figure out that you should probably arrest the guy that had the cache of guns and drugs in his house? Who was leading the investigation, the officers from Reno 911?

Arpaio added:

“We’re also really close to breaking the Lindbergh Baby kidnapping but I want to make sure all the i’s are dotted and t’s are crossed before I rush into anything.”

OK I probably made that up.

DMX’s mug shot

DMX was arrested at his Phoenix-area home earlier this week for . . . *drumroll please* . . . speeding. Radar cameras caught the rapper doing 114 in his ‘66 Chevy Nova II. He faces charges of racing on a highway, reckless driving, two counts of endangerment, and three counts of criminal speed and driving on a suspended license. Holy shit. The Arizona Daily Star says:

About 8:24 p.m. Jan. 21, the state DPS says Simmons was photographed on the northbound lanes of the Loop 101 driving a 1966 Chevy Nova II at a speed of 100 miles per hour. One minute later as his car reached the Loop 101 at Cactus, cameras recorded Simmons speed at 114 mph. Less than three minutes later Simmons was caught on camera at 101 miles per hour. The posted speed limit is 65 miles per hour.

After a period of investigation, DPS officers made the arrest of Simmons Tuesday at his home. Simmons was cooperative. He was booked into the Scottsdale City Jail and bonded out Wednesday. His case was forwarded to the Scottsdale City Prosecutor’s Office, the news release said. (Source)

Also caught by the cameras flying by in the blink of an eye? DMX’s career. Someone should have told the guy that driving over 88 miles per hour wasn’t going to transport him back in time to an era when he was still relevant. It was just gonna cause him to lose his fans, self respect, and earning potential . . . so a lot like appearing in another Steven Seagal movie.

[Splash News]

DMX has never heard of Barack Obama

Turns out DMX is not quite the political expert his appearance may suggest. In the may issue of XXL magazine, the rapper was asked his opinion on the presidential race:

Are you following the presidential race?
Not at all.

You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.
Barack?!

Barack.
What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?

Yeah.
What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.

I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack. (Source)

Regarding John McCain, DMX said:

On some issues, such as free trade, [McCain] has an excellent record. He also is the only candidate who seems even slightly interested in controlling the size of government — a mindset that is desperately needed after the reckless spending increases of the Bush years. On the other hand, Senator McCain has a less-than-perfect track record on taxes. His reliance on class-warfare rhetoric while opposing the Bush tax cuts was particularly unsettling. Moreover, he seems susceptible to getting lured into a “budget summit” with Congress, which inevitably would mean Republicans lose their shirts and the economy gets saddled with higher taxes and higher spending. Last, but certainly not least, his infatuation with global-warming alarmism suggests he would acquiesce — or even lead the charge for — a massive increase in the regulatory burden (though the Democrats surely would travel down the same path).

Or maybe he didn’t say that . . . oh yup, my mistake, that was actually from a Wall Street Journal columnist. I’m always getting those two confused.

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Honey, I don’t have a kid with another woman because I cheated on you. She raped me!

“She raped me,” the rapper told S2S editor Jamie Foster Brown. “I mean, you know, that might sound like some bullsh*t. No man has ever been… you know what I mean, like never? Is that the only thing in the world that’s not possible?” Mrs. Simmons recalled an earlier encounter with the woman. “Before the stuff hit the fan, she came up to us while we were in court and said ‘I work for kids that are sickly,’ said Tashera. “So he said ‘Give her my number.’ That’s how it goes all the time. At first, I said OK. But, then I thought she looked deranged and obsessed with him.” While his wife “blocks out” the experience to cope, X gained a more valuable lesson: “Turn on the light before I go to sleep,” he said.

I know all you people think a man can’t be raped and DMX is just trying to cover his ass. Let me tell you something before you jump to that conclusion, it happens. I’ve never told anyone this story but I was raped back in January 2000, or as I refer to it, “The winter I stopped being a boy and became a man.” Looking back on it, I was so stupid and cocky–I deserved it really. All the signs were there: my OP shorts, my low cut v-neck shirt, the fact I was in a scrapbooking store past 2pm–without a friend! But I was young and strong, I told myself, I can’t get raped. We’re talking about the new millennium here. There hasn’t been a scrapbooking store rape in years. So I thought. Last thing I remember before I blacked out was walking by a few kick-ass stencils (one was a mischievous cow and I think the other one was Saturn. I’m pretty sure Saturn had sunglasses on but I’m really getting off-topic here–just know that it was the sassiest planet I’d ever seen). Next thing I know, I woke up in a pile of my own urine and vomit in the glue aisle. My pants were on backwards. My innocence was lost.

Tashera: “I work for kids that are sickly.” Think I may have just found my newest line to pick up local barsluts.

On a serious note, If you want to help the cause: http://www.stop-scrapbooking-store-rapes.com