Eva Mendes in Vogue Italy (May)
I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about Europe that causes chicks to lose their tops. It’s a lot like my basement minus the complaining and escape attempts. Ha ha ha, just kidding . . . *shifts eyes*
Eva Mendes is in rehab
TMZ is reporting that Eva Mendes has been in rehab for “several weeks”. The actress is currently at the Cirque Lodge in Sundance, Utah — the same facility Lindsay Lohan spent months at last year. Eva’s rep said:
“Eva has been working hard for the past year and made a positive decision to take some much-needed time off to proactively attend to some personal issues that, while not critical, she felt deserved some outside professional support. Out of respect for Eva’s privacy, we do not wish to discuss further details.” (Source)
I guess Eva’s troubles might not be that serious because that’s her in Paris two weeks ago. I don’t know, maybe that’s just part of Cirque’s detox program — sleepless nights, cold sweats, and trips to Paris. Almost makes me wish I had developed a more crippling problem than my addiction to quilts.
Eva Mendes
Eva Mendes at the premiere of Live in Paris, France (1/14)
Eva Mendes in the November issue of Maxim
I love Fridays because I can relax and pass off pictures like these as real gossip. I know what you’re thinking: “But Nick, you handsome devil, you do that every day of the week–and you’re incredibly strong.” True, but Monday through Thursday I’m not drinking a jack and coke out of a Big Gulp cup!
OK we get it, you like to blow kisses
Eva Mendes‘ new movie We Own The Night opens with a steamy, ahem, masturbation scene. Despite Eva’s pleas, director James Gray refused to cut it. Eva told UK tabloid The Sun:
“I remember being so scared that morning and really trying to stall, but I just had to do it. Usually you feel that ticking time bomb but that morning it was a couple of hours of me and Joaquin and James just talking. I was talking in circles and trying to get out of it. I just talked myself into an oblivion and did it. That was the last scene we shot and we had three months of history together, which really helped. The scene is erotic but it comes from a place of love.” (Source)
Frankly, until I read this article, I wasn’t going to see this movie. But now that I know it will involve Eva Mendes moaning orgasmically while she pleasures herself, not only will I see it immediately, but I’m buying a new trench coat for the occasion . . . to smuggle candy in to the theatre.* I don’t know if Eva will smoke a cigarette when her scene ends, but I know I will.
*and masturbate
Eva Mendes really, really likes to blow kisses
Eva Mendes in New York
Eva Mendes leaving her midtown hotel in New York City yesterday
Here’s Eva Mendes vacationing in Capri. According to Wikipedia, “after the end of the Western Roman Empire, Capri returned to the status of a dominion of Naples, and suffered various attacks and ravages by pirates. In 866 Emperor Louis II gave the island to Amalfi. In 987 the first Caprese bishop was consecrated by Pope John XV.” So if that ever comes up on Jeopardy, you fucking owe me man.
Eva Mendes is considering hypnosis to help her stick to her annual New Year’s resolution. For the past decade, Eva has vowed to stop biting her nails. And for the past decade, she’s broken the vow after only a few days. Eva reveals:
“For the 10th year in a row I will make a resolution to not bite my nails. And for the 10th year in a row I’m sure I will break that by 5 January. I think that’s the longest I went without biting my nails. I’m meeting with a hypnotherapist in an effort to stop. I’m really happy about this because that’s one of my things that I do that I no longer want to do.”
Isn’t breaking your New Year’s resolution a week into the year pretty much par for the course? Like last year one of my resolutions was to stop exuding so much raw sex appeal. Needless to say, that resolution was broken when I looked into the mirror on January 1st. And it was REALLY broken when I bedded down with those two Swedish supermodels a few hours later. And it was REALLY REALLY broken when those Jehovah’s Witnesses knocked on my…eh, you get the point.
NOTE: Sorry for all the New Year’s resolution humor today. I’m just taking advantage of the 2-3 day window when I can actually use it. It just doesn’t have the same cache when I break it out on July 15th.
