Archive: Ivanka Trump

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Ivanka Trump is in the September issue of Stuff magazine and this time her Dad is gonna know about it. The surgically-enhanced beauty told the New York Post:

“I took a different approach to this cover. I decided not to do what I did last time, which was not mention the magazine at all and hope he never saw it.” She also insisted on keeping covered up. “I told them, ‘no midriff, no bikini bottoms.’ ” Ivanka’s Stuff appearance comes just in time - the October issue will be the magazine’s last. (Source)

Stuff magazine is folding? That’s not fair! Me and hundreds of millions of Americans never even got a chance to read it … ohhhhh, nevermind

NOTE: How airbrushed are these pictures?  They’ve had more work done on them than that home I built for Habitat for Humanity.

Ivanka Trump has let it be known she is sick of being compared to “party kid” Paris Hilton. Though both women have benefited greatly from their family name, Ivanka claims she is nothing like the hotel heiress because she actually works to maintain her lifestyle. Trump told the London Express:

“I think we are totally different individuals,” Trump said. “If I were to go off the rails and become this party kid, I would not be able to afford my lifestyle. I’ve never had a sense of entitlement. I saw how hard my father worked for his money and it was always made very clear to me that things wouldn’t just be given to me. I bought my house from my father - I have a mortgage, you know.” (Source)

Don’t kid yourself Ivanka. You’re ahead in life 95% because of your last name, 10% because of your looks, and 1% because of your work ethic.* You really think you’d be bossing underlings around, wiping your ass with first editions, and wearing a jacket made of endangered species if you’d been born to a middle class family in Omaha? Of course not silly, women can’t be managers!

*I know it equals 106% but that’s just how the Trumps roll. They go big or they go home.

Her boobs have to be fake, right? More evidence after the jump…

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Check out this clip of Andy Dick on last week’s Jimmy Kimmel Show. You have to admit this guy has a vagina of steel. Donald Trump’s daughter would be just about the last chick I’d ever fuck with. Don’t be surprised if Andy Dick’s lifeless corpse is discovered face down in the Hudson River later this week.