Archive: Katie Holmes

Uh oh, someone needs to charge Katiebot’s batteries

Offered a role in an upcoming Broadway play, Katie Holmes wants to move to New York City with daughter Suri. Unsurprisingly, Tom Cruise wants no part of it. A source told the Star magazine:

“[Katie] desperately needs to be on her own for a while, but there’s no way Tom is going to let her take Suri away. There’s no way he’ll allow it. He just doesn’t want Katie — or Suri — out of his sight for long. He told her that if she goes to New York, fine, but he goes with her. Tom wants to call all the shots when it comes to Suri. He has a lot of rules, and there’s conflict.” (Source)

Of course there’s conflict — like when Katie wears her Bret Favre jersey to bed. “Dammit Katie, you know I like you to sleep in the Beckham jersey!”

[Splash News]

Victoria Beckham and Katie Holmes in Paris (1/2007)

Tom Cruise is worried that Victoria Beckham is influencing Katie Holmes in a negative way. He wants his wife to ditch her new friend. A source told the Daily Mail:

“Katie sees Victoria as a role model. She copies Victoria’s look and even cut her hair the same way. [Katie] is very thin largely because she is following Victoria’s strict 900-calories-a-day eating plan. She is copying Victoria’s fad of neating seaweed shakes, frozen grapes and edamame beans. She is tiny.” (Source)

If Katie really wants to be like Posh, all she has to do is spend a few weeks in a tanning bed, be sure to only wear her sunglasses at night, and convince herself that her husband and the pool boy are just friends that like to hug that way . . . and by “hug” I mean felate. So considering who she’s married to, she really only needs to start working on the first two.

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Katie Holmes has boyish good looks

Katie Holmes just cut her hair and apparently it’s big news. Us Weekly says:

Katie Holmes debuted a pageboy cut at Pizzeria Mozza in L.A. Monday night. The actress, who was voted one of Us’ top makeovers of 2007 after she chopped her locks last year, picked up a few pies and headed back home. Tom Cruise and daughter Suri were not with her.

Could the new cropped cut be for a role? Holmes’ rep confirmed to Usmagazine.com that “she is in discussions” to join the Broadway revival of All My Sons. (Source)

Pageboy? All My Sons? No need to tap dance around it: Katie looks like a boy. She’s probably on her way to the store to buy some comic books and baseball cards.

NOTE: I’d bet my life that 2879 of these votes can be traced back to Tom Cruise’s office

Katie Holmes is pregnant?

OK! magazine is claiming that Katie Holmes is pregnant. Their evidence? A “slight” bulge in her stomach Katie displayed at the Essence Black Women in Hollywood Awards (Katie shut out again!) a few weeks ago. An eyewitness told the magazine:

“She has that special glow that only pregnant women have. I would say there is a strong possibility that she’s pregnant.” (Source)

Uh, OK. Apparently medicine has taken a step back to the 1100s. They might as well have used last week’s lunar eclipse as evidence. Clearly Artemis was trying to send us a message

Katie Holmes

Katie Holmes at the premiere of Mad Money in Westwood (1/9)

Tom’s favorite look

I could totally see Tom Cruise in the background of this interview, gritting his teeth, “shut up katie, shut uuuup.” Regarding her diminutive husband, Katie told the January issue of In Style:

“Tom likes me in a suit and a mini every now and then. I like it when he likes it. It makes me blush. He’ll say, ‘You look good. I hope security’s going with you.’ Now that gives me attitude.” (Source)

I’ve got news for you Katie, you’re not the only one Tom likes in a suit–you’re just the only one with “woman parts”. Later in the interview Katie revealed the other outfits that drive Tom crazy include “sweaty football player,” “burly construction worker,” and “David Beckham”. She later casually mentioned that Tom wants her to stop going to the spa so her lip-hair can finally grow out long enough to be shaped into a handlebar mustache.

Tom’s second favorite look

PICS: Tom and Katie in Miami for the Super Bowl (2/3/07):

Katie Holmes lottery ticket

Along with Diane Keaton and Queen Latifah, Katie Holmes is appearing on a California lottery ticket to promote her new movie Mad Money. Among the prizes up for grabs is a trip for two to the Los Angeles premiere of Mad Money, a walk-on role in a movie, Mad Money DVDs, autographed Mad Money posters and cash from $10 to $1,000. California Lottery Director Joan Borucki says:

“When people think of California, they think of Hollywood, which is why the California Lottery is thrilled to enter into a new partnership with friends in the movie industry, Overture Films. Mad Money is a great tie-in for our products!” (Source)

Wow Katie’s becoming a lot more independent lately. Finishing the New York Marathon last weekend and now this new lottery ticket. She’s really creating her own identity and becoming more than just one half of “TomKat” . . . or maybe that’s what Tom wants us to think. That sneaky little bastard. One minute you’re scratching a Katie Holmes lottery ticket in the hopes of winning $1,000 so you can finally pay off 1/20th of your credit card debt and the next thing you know you’re wearing a foil hat and framing a picture of L. Ron Hubbard for the living room. It’s a slippery slope if I’ve ever seen one.

Katie Holmes

While you were nursing your hangover Sunday morning, Katie Holmes was busy not wearing a sports bra and running/walking/shuffling 26.2 miles through New York City. Yes Katie decided to tackle the famous New York Marathon. And she finished, too, in 5:29:58 (good for 34,195th place). In Katie’s defense the 34,194 people who finished before her were Kenyans.

CLICK HERE for more pics of Katie Holmes at the finish line of the NYC Marathon…

More »

Katie Holmes

Katie Holmes at the Berlin premiere of Lions for Lambs on Wednesday

Bauer-Griffin

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise in France

NOTE: I’m out of town on a “working vacation” from Monday to Wednesday of this week. I’m using these three days to catch up on the hundreds of bikini pics I never got around to posting this summer. Masturbation jokes will resume on Thursday at approximately 7:30 A.M. Pacific Standard Time.

More of Tom and Katie after the jump…

More »