Archive: Naomi Campbell

Naomi Campbell bikini pics! (St. Tropez - 6/28)

If you didn’t pee your pants a little after seeing these pics of Naomi Campbell holding a cell phone, you’re more man than me. I’ll not ashamed to admit that this bitch scares the living hell out of me. Last Halloween one of the neighborhood kids dressed up as Naomi. When she knocked on my door wanting candy, I screamed and gave her everything I had in the house and my credit card to go buy more for herself at the store.

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Naomi Campbell outside Magistrates’ Court in Uxbridge, England today

Naomi Campbell plead guilty today to assault and disorderly conduct from that little tantrum she threw at Heathrow Airport in early April. For her efforts, Naomi was ordered to perform 200 hours community service. The supermodel faced up to six months in jail and a $10,000 fine. AFP News says:

Outlining the case, prosecutor Melanie Parrish told magistrates in Uxbridge that Campbell had initially been friendly and professional when she boarded the Los Angeles-bound flight. But she became irate after Captain Miles Sutherland informed [her] . . . one of her bags, containing an Yves Saint Laurent outfit that she was contracted to wear on a US chat show, had not been put in the aircraft’s hold.

She flew into a rage at Sutherland, who had come out of the cockpit to explain the situation and outline what steps she could take, ordering him to get off the aircraft and find the bag himself. Parrish said the model was heard shouting at Sutherland and as he walked away, she said: “You are a racist. You wouldn’t be doing this if I was white.”

Concerned cabin crew called police but Campbell refused to move, despite being told four times that she was going to be forcibly ejected, the court heard. Parrish said that as one police officer reached forward to try to take Campbell’s arm, the model “went berserk, thrashing her arms around uncontrollably”, hitting the officer on the arm with her phone.

The officer’s colleague was then kicked in the thigh by Campbell’s stiletto-heeled boots in a struggle that forced the only other first class passenger on the aircraft to move to the staff kitchen for safety, she said.

Campbell then caught the first officer on the arm with spit, prompting him to arrest her for assault, Parrish said. She became more violent as they tried to remove her, shouting “don’t touch me”, kicking out and telling the officers: “It is because I am a black woman. You are all racists. I am going to sue you.” (Source)

Naomi seems like such a sweet girl . . . I get the feeling this is all just a big misunderstanding. Kinda like that whole Green River Killer thing. I mean, geesh, give the guy a break.

[Flynet]

Naomi Campbell leaving Cipriani restaurant in London (6/16)

You know what’d be a fun game? Print out that pic and then try to get Naomi to autograph it. If you’re not killed, you win. I’d recommend Naomi take Propecia but it specifically says on the label that the drug is not recommended for chicks who might possibly be satan.

NOTE: If Naomi ever makes it to heaven, twenty bucks she throws a cell phone at God.

[Pacific Coast News, WENN, Flynet]

Naomi Campbell is drunk

Naomi Campbell got seriously fucked up last night at a private party in Capri, Italy, to the point where she couldn’t even stand up outside the nightclub. Dude, is that adult contemporary icon Kenny G holding her up? Holy shit, I think it is. It’s weird to see him outside his natural habitat of an elevator or dentist’s office. I know Kenny’s probably not the type of guy to take advantage of this type of situation — but if he is — I’ve found the “Come here often?” line sometimes* works on chicks collapsed in a heap on the sidewalk.

*always if you can carry 130 pounds of dead weight to your trunk**

**tip: use the fireman’s carry

[INFDaily.com]

Naomi Campbell at Heathrow Airport today

Naomi Campbell claims she was never banned from British Airlines (for that little outburst last month) and they’ve actually been pleading with her to fly with them again. The New York Post says:

Temper-tantrum twit Naomi Campbell, who’s not known for having a good relationship with the truth, is making things up again. Campbell, banned from British Airways flights after she allegedly spat at a cop over missing luggage at Heathrow, claims airline officials have pleaded with her to fly with them again, but she’s refused because of their “complete disrespect for passengers.” That comes as news to the airline. “We are not aware of any pleading phone calls to Ms. Campbell,” an insider told London’s Evening Standard. (Source)

An interesting spin on the “You can’t fire me, I quit!” strategy . . . which I used brilliantly, by the way, at my last job at a law firm: “You can’t fire me, I quit! . . . Now if I pull up my underwear, can I have my pants back?” That Corporate America stuff just isn’t for me.

NOTE: Since all of her problems come from things that are white, can anyone really blame Naomi for being a racist? Cocaine: white. Crack: white. My semen: a little off white but only because I need to add a bit more fiber to my diet.

[Flynet]

She killed nine arctic foxes with her bare hands to make that coat

UK tabloid The Sun has more details this morning on supermodel Naomi Campbell’s arrest last week at Heathrow Airport. In addition to spitting and punching a male police officer, the supermodel dropped all kinds of racist slurs:

Now cops claim she called a [police officer] a “white ****” and a “white s**g” as she was dragged off the LA-bound jet in handcuffs. The police source said Naomi continued, screaming: “f***ing white honkeys” at the officer and her colleagues.

I love it. It’s like a racist version of Wheel of Fortune. “Y_ _ F_ _ _ing White H_n_ey, Do Y_ _ _now Wh_ I Am?” . . . I’d like to solve the puzzle Pat: “You Fucking White Honkey, Do You Know Who I Am?” The Sun continues:

Campbell went berserk when she discovered one of her bags was missing at Terminal 5 last Thursday, allegedly spitting at officers who approached. Senior Scotland Yard staff were furious when Naomi later claimed police only arrested her because of her colour. She told a pal: “It just goes to show I have to fight for who I am. It’s because I’m black.” (Source)

I think she may be on to something here. How long has Naomi been a supermodel? 20 years? I bet if she was white, she would been promoted to “SuperSuperModel” years ago. As much as it pains me to say it, the evidence is pretty clear: white people are out to get Naomi Campbell.

[WENN]

Naomi Campbell goes crazy at Heathrow Airport

Naomi Campbell basically went crazy at Heathrow Airport today. The supermodel “flew into a rage” after being told one of her bags didn’t make it onto her departing flight. As Naomi boarded the plane — still yelling and harassing staff — three airport security guards followed her to try to calm her down. Naturally she spit at and punched them. Naturally. UK tabloid The Sun has the rest of the details:

Frenzied Naomi was brought under control after a struggle and then physically hauled off the plane. Cops were called and she was heard screaming “get off me, leave me alone” before she attacked one and was taken away to Heathrow police station.

An eyewitness said: “She attacked a male police officer and spat at him and she was taken to the airport police station”.

A Heathrow spokeswoman said: “We can confirm that a passenger was removed by police from a BA flight this afternoon.”

BA269 left more than an hour and a half late while bags belonging to the model and her entourage were taken from the flight. (Source)

Can you imagine being the guy that has to arrest Naomi Campbell in the middle of a tantrum? Unless your name is Randy Couture or Bear Grylls, there is a 100% chance you would soil your underwear. I’d rather handcuff a cactus.

NOTE: This isn’t her first “incident” at Heathrow

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Naomi Campbell

Some chick named Davinia Taylor turned 30 over the weekend in London and Naomi Campbell showed up to the party dressed like a cheetah on ecstasy. The fanny pic is where she keeps her dignity. She lost it right after the pic was taken.

Naomi Campbell

Supermodel Naomi Campbell threw a fit yesterday at Heathrow Airport after showing up late for her transatlantic flight. After first being denied entry onto the plane, Campbell was finally allowed to board but told her bags would have to be put on another flight. According to sources, the supermodel yelled:

“You are joking. You are always losing bags and I don’t trust you with mine in a million years.” Naomi dressed in tight jeans and a silver-grey bomber jacket, waved her arms in a fury and said: “I can’t believe you won’t allow ME on your flight. What is this? Who must I speak to?” The supermodel, who has admitted attending anger-management classes, was offered a seat on a later BA flight to New York - but she stormed off.

Naomi was booked to travel alone on BA flight 177 to JFK airport at 1.40pm. Her chauffeur-driven silver Mercedes 500 Series arrived at 1.29pm. An airport source told the Mirror yesterday: “When BA staff explained she was too late, she exploded and stamped her foot. There was a tirade of abuse” (Source)

What has our society come to if a has-been, coked-out ex-con can’t get the service and privileges she demands? So a couple a hundred other people are delayed to accommodate one person–who cares–they were probably ugly anyways. What were they gonna be late for? The appointment they had to sit on their ass all day and not date? Besides, it’s not like ugly people have feelings. The soulless bastards.

NOTE: I reserve the right to use that opening sentence in a future Britney Spears’ story

Bauer-Griffin

Short intro means daddy had a long night *makes drinking motion with thumb and pinky* From the New York Post:

Naomi Campbell is making more enemies. The angry supermodel has conservationists in an uproar over her plans with former beau Flavio Briatore to open a five-star casino/hotel with 40 apartments in the Indian Ocean resort town of Malindi - which is also a coastal sanctuary for rare turtles. “This would have a very negative effect on turtle nesting,” Athman Seif, director of the Malindi Marine Association, told the Times of London. “The lights would confuse the turtles and send them heading off in the wrong direction.” (Source)

For once I agree with the environmentalists. We should never disturb the natural habitat of one of God’s creatures. Besides, doesn’t Naomi realize how tasty FRESH turtle eggs are? Sure casinos can be fun with all of the wealth, clean women, and lower crime rates they bring a neighborhood. But have you ever had a turtle egg steamed with chutney and oregano? It’s like an orgasm in my mouth . . . damn that line sounded really gay–not that there’s anything wrong with that. Get a few wine coolers in me and who knows what I’ll be up for.