Archive: Nicole Richie

Nicole Richie at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas (7/5)

Sounds like Nicole Richie had a bit too much to drink Satureday night at boyfriend Joel Madden’s concert at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas. The new mom was involved in an “altercation” after the show. From TMZ:

Looks like baby Harlow hasn’t settled Nicole Richie’s wild side yet. We’re told Nicole was involved in an altercation around 1 AM this morning with a female while in line at the valet outside the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas. Sources say Richie was so rowdy she had to be escorted off the property by security! (Source)

If it took more than one security guard to drag her 54 pound ass away, it sounds like Nicole might be back on the smack. Because if Spring ‘03 taught me anything, it’s that a junkie fiending for heroin can instantly gain the stamina of three men . . . and then will sometimes use that stamina in a “home movie” shot by a guy named Terrance and his four male “friends” who promised not to put the 3 hour “documentary” on the internet as long as I didn’t cry but did anyway which made the whole thing not even worth the twenty bucks in the first place. *Clears throat* As I was saying, Nicole Richie’s ugly.

[WENN]

Nicole Richie leaving MTV Studios in Santa Monica (6/3)

Nicole Richie is *this* close to an emotional breakdown. Apparently the turmoil in Nicole’s life over the past few years (eating disorder, DUI arrest, pregnancy) is finally catching up with her. A friend of Richie’s claims that lately she’s been breaking down over the smallest things (e.g. baby crying, Joel possibly cheating on her). The same friend told the National Enquirer:

“Nicole feels like her life is in a constant state of emotional turmoil right now, and when one crying episode ends, another one seems to begin. Everything is happening so quickly that it’s almost getting to be too much for her to handle. The slightest bit of stress turns into a huge emotional ordeal. Joel is trying to be patient with Nicole even though her meltdowns often do end in arguments. But he understands she’s gone through some very serious emotional and physical changes — she got pregnant, found sobriety, moved in with Joel and became a mother — all in a very short time, and that’s a lot for anyone to handle.” (Source)

What did Nicole think would happen to her life after she delivered the spawn of a horny musician? That he’d quit banging 14-year-old 15-year-old 16-year-old 17-year-old 18-year-old groupies and the two of them would move to the suburbs and live happily ever after? The only thing Nicole should expect over the next decade from this relationship is to be introducing her child to it’s new half-brothers and sisters every six months.

NOTE: There’s a term for women that are moody and miserable just after giving birth: Postpartum Depression Married. Are we sure that Nicole and Joel didn’t secretly tie the knot earlier this year?

[Flynet, BauerGriffinOnline]

Nicole Richie leaving a friend’s house in L.A. (3/28)

Nicole Richie is pissed that she’s not following boyfriend Joel Madden and his band Good Charlotte on their word tour and Paris Hilton is. And it’s all that damn newborn’s fault! A friend told Star magazine:

“Nicole begged Joel to let her tag along, but he refused to put the baby through that much traveling. He thinks a rock tour is no place for a newborn and has put his foot down. Nicole is livid! The thought of Paris on the road influencing Joel makes her skin crawl. Nicole doesn’t trust Paris as far as she can throw her.”

Another source added:

“Nicole says if Paris can go, she can go. If anyone, including Joel and Paris, thinks Nicole will just sit back in L.A. alone for a month and accept this situation, they’ve got another thing coming.” (Source)

I’m siding with Joel on this one. I wouldn’t bring a kid with me on tour until he was at least five. Newborns are useless. They shit and piss everywhere and they start crying if you don’t feed them at least once a day. At least a five-year-old can fetch you beers and round up groupies you point out from stage. Plus their tiny hands make bong cleaning a cinch! Oh and I can see though why Nicole doesn’t want Joel hanging around with Paris — his penis is gonna have to be boiled for at least 30 minutes before it’s safe to use again.

[Pacific Coast News]

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden at a party in the Hollywood Hills (1/25)

Shhhhhhh. Don’t tell her. The New York Post says:

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden’s nanny must be raking in some serious overtime to watch the Hollywood party couple’s new baby, Harlow Winter Kate Madden. During the Grammys weekend, the couple went to several parties each night for hours. Last weekend, Richie and Madden once again left their tot at home to spend some quality time with Joel’s brother Benji and Lindsay Lohan at Teddy’s in the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. They didn’t rush home until the end of the evening - “It’s almost as if they aren’t parents,” said a spy. (Source)

I believe there’s a word to describe young girls who were abandoned/neglected by their parents as children . . . it’s pronounced “Stripper”. In 18 15 years from now, I can almost guarantee that Harlow Winter Kate Madden will be working at the local Spearmint Rhino under the stage name “Fisty” and that I’ll be there in sweatpants (sans underwear) with a roll of quarters to help her with her rent.

Joel and Nicole at LAX (9/25)

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are pissed because their celebrity status prevented them from buying a house in an upscale LA gated community–the couple’s potential neighbors didn’t want paparazzi “hovering near their homes” on a 24-hour basis. A source told Us Weekly:

“Nicole was livid because she loved the house. She thinks it’s a BS reason, but she couldn’t fight it.” Still, being dismissed hasn’t put a damper on the couple’s growing excitement over their coming event. Another source tells Us that Richie, 26, is planning a baby shower for the end of November. And Madden, 28, expects fatherhood to have a positive impact on many parts of his life, including his songwriting. “I’m sure it will inspire me,” he told Us on October 27. “Yeah, I’m sure it will.” (Source)

Nicole’s right–”concern over photographers” is a BS reason. It’s just that the head of the neighborhood association couldn’t fit “denied on the basis of being coked out, attention-starved, unwed parents” on their application. Besides the plumbing in that gated community could only take so much of Nicole’s post-pregnancy purging before all the pipes dissolved away from the build-up of stomach acid. Oh and Joel, I’m pretty sure becoming a parent won’t inspire you to write decent music–since becoming a douche didn’t . . . but we’re still on for dinner Saturday, right?

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden in Sydney, Australia earlier this month

According to the New York Post’s Cindy Adams, a very-pregnant Nicole Richie was lighting up cigarettes across New York City this weekend. Adams said:

Mommy-to-be Nicole Richie. 3:30 p.m. Pony tail, black jeans, waistcoat. Exits DaSilvano with one young girl, one middle-age lady. On the sidewalk, after checking who’s at which outdoor tables, she lights up. They jump into a waiting black Caddy Escalade, Nicole into the front seat. Still smoking. Three days later, 7:30 p.m., Nobu. For somebody who doesn’t eat, she sure frequents lots of restaurants. She’s there with the baby in the bun’s father. They leave. Outside she lights up again. (Source)

Newsflash: The most toxic thing Nicole Richie is putting into her body isn’t cigarette smoke–it’s Joel Madden’s penis. That thing’s been on the CDC’s watch list since ‘02. On a serious note, the bookies in Vegas just set the odds of Nicole’s baby coming out with LESS than three arms at 7 to 1. Better get your bets in before she’s spotted doing something even worse to her body–like hanging out with Paris Hilton.

Bauer-Griffin

Nicole Richie may be marrying baby daddy Joel Madden in just a few weeks. TMZ says:

The Wedding Fairy, a wedding planner based in the OC, will coordinate the small ceremony that is to take place October 13 in Laguna Beach, Calif. TMZ contacted Lorraine Keseloff, the wedding planner and owner of the company, who had no comment and quickly hung up the phone. Nicole’s rep did not return our call seeking comment either. (Source)

Wow Joel Madden really shot the cashier on this one. I know that makes no sense so let me explain: When you rob a liquor store, you take your $42 and get the hell out of there. You don’t compound your mistake by shooting the cashier. It’s just like when you accidentally get a woman pregnant. You abandon her, change your name, and leave the state/country. You don’t compound your mistake by marrying her. It’s a lesson every father should teach his son.

Bauer-Griffin

Found some more pics of Nicole Richie and Joel Madden in Hawaii. These pics are better than the ones yesterday because these have 100% more creepy white dudes trying to play it off like they just got lost but really they’re just hoping to get a glimpse of a pregnant Nicole Richie being felt up so they can tell all their friends back in Wichita. Hi Dad!

More Nicole Richie Bikini Pics after the jump…

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Bauer-Griffin

Ex-con Nicole Richie and her boyfriend Joel Madden hit up Hawaii over the weekend and I’m more than a little freaked out. Are those breasts? Am I even allowed to talk about the breasts of a pregnant woman? It just seems so wrong and naughty. Like jaywalking thrillwalking. I live my life one ignored crosswalk at a time. Try and keep up.

More Nicole Richie bikini pics after the jump…

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Remember last month when Nicole Richie was sentenced to four days in jail because of her December DUI–her second? Well she checked in to the Century Regional Detention Facility yesterday afternoon at 3:15 to begin her sentence . . . and left at 4:37P.M. Bitch was in a cell for 35 minutes. So let that be a lesson to all you hoodlums thinking about getting high on Vicodin and weed and then driving on the wrong side of the freeway. You better think twice because you will miss an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.