Friday Caption Contest #84
May 9th, 2008
“You are younger than my husband! You are younger than my husband! You are younger than my husband! And you, you, and you!” - Celine Dion performing at a convalescent home in London
Can you beat my caption?
Winner, decided by me and posted next week, to receive $10 Amazon.com gift code (will be emailed).
Winner: Congratulations to this week’s winner Cliff:
There! There’s one! I’m actually prettier than her!
Check back this Friday for new contest.
Read more about: Contests
“Do you want to come sing because I am sick of this shit?” “And yes my husband does have old wrinkly balls”
You… yes you.. can you do this with your teeth??? HAHA No you cannot.. becuase I am Celine Dion…. what about you? No you cannot!.. Now who wants to crawl up my skirt and lick some milk?
“You say that you can still see how fuzzy my arms are!”
He who smelt it, dealt it!
Officer: Could you please show me the man that stole you tits maam?
Celine: Yes officer its that one over there - that bastard stole my tities…its bad enough I look like a young Dustin Hoffman, he HAD to steal my tits and make it worse???
YOU….the one with the sandwich……OUT!!…..OUTTTTT!!!!!!
Behold my arm hair in all its glory!
For a few dollars more i’ll raise my skirt!
“No, we do not have the word SWIFTER in Canada. What’s a Swifter?”
I’m still the Queen of the world!
I’m sorry officer…..I thought you said to touch your nose.
Everybody Look! It’s madonna! She only got 4 minutes to get the fuck out of my show before i go titanic on her ass!
Hey You!! Are you feeling the LURV (love) tonight??!!!
HOW TO GRACEFULLY REMOVE A WEDGIE….
STEP 1. Create a diversion (pointing usually works great)
STEP 2. Either do a squat or clench your teeth so hard your undies pop right out.
STEP 3. Pound your chest to celebrate your victory!
Have that man in the fifth row washed and brought to me immediately.
“All you old people are out of shape. My husband Rene works out by lifting one finger up to his nose. See? And now the other finger. One at a time until his teeth start to quiver like a beaver”
There! There’s one! I’m actually prettier than her!
“I fart in your general direction!”
How far away can you see my nose? You, in the last row, does my nose still look big from there?
Actually, my heart will only go on until this point.
“A little help. My boobs fell out over THERE.”
“I am not ze snob! Watch — I will sing a love song to one of you unwashed peasants! You, ze fat one!”
“This Booger is just for you!”
Having trouble getting into your Celine sardine tins? Give it I got it, teeth and nose hairs made of steel!
If you pull my finger, my husband will mess his diaper.
Only you.. can prevent armpit hair fires.