Paris must be stopped

“Whore.”

Paris Hilton wants kids. Soon. Oh dear God. At her sister Nicky’s birthday at Pure nightclub over the weekend in Las Vegas, she told People magazine:

“I definitely want three or four [children] . . . Soon. Maybe a year or two.”

In the meantime, she’s just enjoying domestic life with beau Benji Madden. “We just had our 7 month anniversary,” she gushed. “We are just so happy.” (Source)

You know those pinpoint smart bombs we use to rain hellfire and damnation on terrorists in Iraq? You know what I’m talking about? We can blow up a living room by sending a missile through the front door. Anyways, do those things work on uteruses?

[WENN, Pacific Coast News]

Kate Moss leaving Volsted nightclub in London (10/2)

Meant to post these last Friday but I got drunk instead. You could say Kate and I have a lot in common. We both like to drink heavily. We both wet our beds more often than not.* And we’re both deathly afraid of butterflies.** She’s basically my soul mate.

*assumed about Kate

**also assumed about Kate

[Pacific Coast News, BauerGriffinOnline, Flynet]

Salma Hayek nip slip!

Good news for those of you that have always wanted to see a tiny sliver of Salma Hayek’s nipple. Salma appeared on the German TV program Wetten Dass over the weekend wearing a one-size-too-small dirndl. The Daily Mail says she lost a bet with an audience member and was forced to don the classic German outfit. Good job horny German guy in audience! You know that whole World War II, millions dead, half of Europe leveled thing? We’re cool.

[WENN]

NSFW!

Don’t click the picture. Just trust me dude, don’t click the picture.

More »

O.J. Simpson is guilty

In case you didn’t hear over the weekend, O.J. Simpson was found guilty of 12 charges related to the September 2007 robbery of a sports memorabilia dealer in Las Vegas. CNN says:

The Las Vegas jury reached its verdict after about 13 hours of deliberations Friday. Simpson sat quietly and showed little emotion at the defense table as he listened to the verdicts being read. Deputies then handcuffed Simpson and led him from the courtroom. Simpson, 61, could get life in prison for these convictions. Clark County District Judge Jackie Glass set sentencing for December 5. Defense attorney Yale Galanter spoke with Simpson after the verdict and said the former football star was “extremely upset, extremely emotional.” Galanter said he will file a motion for a new trial and appeal the case. (Source)

I think I speak for the majority of America here in saying YEAH MOTHERFUCKER! FUCK YEAH!

NOTE: There’s a weird coincidence involving the number 13 in this case. The guilty verdict occurred 13 years to the day Simpson was found not guilty of the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman. Simpson is also expected to be raped 13 times a day with 13 different kinds of mop handles when he’s finally sent to prison.

[Splash News]

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie at the premiere of Changeling at the New York Film Festival (10/4)

+ Happy doucheday to you . . . [Dlisted]

+ Vanessa Hudgens has camel toe [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Jessica Alba is Gagged and Bound [Egotastic!]
+ Vote for sexiest MILF of 2008 [Bastardly]
+ Your Jessica Alba smoking hot pic of the week [College Humor]

+ Elizabeth Hurley flashes her panties [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Madeline Zima is seriously hot [Popoholic]
+ Britney Spears label admits hoax regarding promo shots [I’m Not Obsessed]
+ Howard Stern is married [Pink Is The New Blog]

+ Oops, ha-ha, lost my breasts [CityRag]
+ Tina Fey channels her inner Sarah Palin once again [A Socialite’s Life]
+ Some guy makes a Kate Moss statue entirely out of gold [Yeeeah!]
+ Mickey Mouse commits suicide [popbytes]

[WENN]

Andi Muise

Canadian model Andi Muise

CLICK HERE to jump to 25 more Andi Muise pics on PAGE 2

Kate Beckinsale bikini pics!

Kate Beckinsale in Los Cabos, Mexico (April 2006)

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Sofia Vergara leaving Ago restaurant in L.A. (10/3)

+ Sophie Monk has fat thighs [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Gemma Atkinson Bikini Calendar Pictures [Egotastic!]
+ Salma Hayek joins 30 Rock [Just Jared]
+ Dawn Jaro is your afternoon pick-me-up [F-Listed]
+ Vanessa Hudgens has camel toe [The Blemish]

+ The Top 10 hottest actresses over 40 [Attuworld]
+ Lindsay Lohan tells Marie Claire she’s thinking about adoption [Cele|bitchy]
+ Pam Anderson panty upskirt [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Britney Spears releasing a workout video? [ICYDK]

[WENN]

Julia Roberts has a nice house

Julia Roberts’ home in Malibu Beach

NOTE: “. . . is better than you” is a Friday feature showcasing multi-million dollar celebrity homes in the hopes of generating feelings of jealousy, hatred, and animosity towards said celebrity. When you get down to the entertainment-dollar-spending core of it, you helped buy that home. Sucker!

[Flynet]